03 September 2009

Anxiety dream? Confidence dream?

Yesterday I submitted my application to the workshop at Famous Library, and last night I dreamed I got a response. Rather than a straight yes/no answer, three different reviewers (the workshop faculty) supplied their written comments on my application.

The first one gave a long critique, which boiled down to "you're very well qualified, but I just don't feel like working with you." In the dream, I was very disappointed, but kept reading.

The next two were both very positive, saying basically, "Wonderful! You're perfect for this! Please come!"

But there was no definite yes/no even at the end, so it's not clear if two outvote one, or if the votes are weighted so there's one person who counts extra, or if they need to achieve consensus on the applicants.

I'm still not sure what sort of a dream this was. It seems I think pretty well of myself, as even the negative commenter admitted my qualifications; but perhaps I have some doubts about my ability to play well with others.

1 comment:

Fencing Bear said...

This is a great dream! Interestingly, I thought that you were going to say that you found the first reader's response more useful because more thoughtful and critical, rather than the two that were simply saying, "Great!" It's a hard call: do we want our readers simply to approve what we say, or do we hunger more for real engagement (even when it's critical), which we all too rarely get?